Another winter day

Another winter day

When I took this picture I was thinking, “Glad I don’t have to clear the snow from his driveway!” But I do envy the solitude the farmer must be able to savor.

***

There is one thing that I have grown to dislike more as I get older. Well, there may be more than one thing, but today I feel a need to complain about women who curse in public. By public I mean in the company of people who aren’t immediate family members, or who are very close friends, or who are in a public area. Pretty much anytime they aren’t muttering to themselves under their breath. Usually I just cringe and try to get away from it, but more and more often it is happening everywhere.

Lest you think that I am a sexist pig, or just sexist, or just a pig, I also dislike it when men curse in public. I suppose I am just more used to hearing it from men. I used to be one…a public curser that is; I am still a man. I just stopped heavy-duty cursing a long time back. I had developed my cursing style in college and honed it while in the Army. It was a few months after I was released from active duty when I realized that I didn’t need to curse. There was no reason to be lace my language with scatological terminology or with references to carnal knowledge. So I stopped. I will still utter an occasional “Damn!” or other one word, non-F-bomb exclamations, but only when I’m frustrated and alone or with Cindy.

But I didn’t call you here today to tell you about my sterling character or to complain about other men. It is to show you how stodgy I have become. If you have heard the expression “the coarsening of society” and utter a curse, you should have stopped reading this post a paragraph or two earlier. If you are a woman and have heard people say that something that you have said was unladylike, and you answered with a curse, turn away, sister. (And don’t get me started on how a grammar check tries to get me to use the word “woman” rather than “lady.”) If you believe that cursing makes men and women equal, get over it; the battle for equality in law will take more than a butch attitude.

One of Cindy’s friends was playing cards in our home a few weeks ago. I had ventured out of my room to come into the kitchen when I heard her using the carnal knowledge word in a joke. All of the women laughed and I remained silent. Then another of the friends saw me and joked about the fact that I didn’t like the use of that word. The first friend then declaimed on how she loved to use the word…but she didn’t say why she loved it. It was half an explanation at best. I remained silent because I need to think things through before I comment. I wonder if I had asked her why she loved using the word, if she would have a coherent thoughtful answer?

My thought is that too often women and men use curses as filler, instead of “Uh,” or similar monosyllabic non-meaningful space holders. Or, they may use curses for shock effect. They use them so often that shock no longer exists, just the coarseness. I have read some women who feel that cursing expresses the rage that they feel. Really? There is no other way to express rage?

This is the part where some women, if they have read this far, will be saying that I haven’t experienced what they have in life. That is correct. I haven’t had men treat me like dung. I haven’t been paid less for doing more. I haven’t had a partner leave me for a newer model. I haven’t had my sexuality questioned because I didn’t live up to the expectations of someone else.

I feel that cursing is the lowest common denominator, and that both women and men should aspire to more than that.

Or, as Dennis Miller has always said, “Of course, that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.”

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