Another (wonderful) year of marriage

Smiling to hide her tears...of joy
Smiling to hide her tears…of joy…I swear they are tears of joy

I’m the handsome guy in the middle. Hahahahahaha. No, I’m the one with the beard. My child bride, Cindy, is on the right. Lee is between us, guarding his mother’s virtue. Trina has her back to the camera.


Today is our 24th wedding anniversary. People said it wouldn’t last because we didn’t have enough in common . I guess they thought it was just hormones. Well, they were wrong; and I’m pretty sure they will continue to be wrong.

I could regale you with stories from our wedding day, but I prefer to hold those stories back until next year. Twenty-five years seems more appropriate for those tales. This year I just want to share a few words about commitment. I just have to figure out what those words are.

OK, let’s try these words: Commitment is, after consideration, deciding on a course of action and sticking to it despite obstructions. I believe that is a good, somewhat vague, working description.

Marriage is a commitment that two people make to each other, to share good and bad times as one human family unit. It isn’t just a baby making (or adopting) match, or a business match, or even just a love match. It is all those things and ineffable more. And it isn’t supposed to last for a few years, or months or days and then be discarded. It is meant to last…period…full stop. If you don’t enter in to marriage with that full commitment, your chances of success aren’t as good.

At least that is the way I went into marriage, and I’m pretty sure Cindy did as well. At least until after the wedding reception…but that’s a story for next year. Seriously, we seriously took the commitment seriously. Was that too cute a phrase? We still take it seriously.

There may be days when we take each other for granted. There are certainly days when we screw up (Hey, Cindy, remember the time I forgot to make the mortgage payment and how it messed up our finances?). There have been days when anger seemed to override everything else. But none of that is more important than the commitment we made to each other. Some days it is harder to do than on others, but it has always been worth the effort.

In a broader sense we also made the commitment to our friends and family, and even society as a whole. But it comes down to what we pledged to each other. It comes down to living up to that commitment.

It’s been a good ride for twenty-four years, and there is no reason it shouldn’t keep going on.