Yesterday was a good day at the puzzle table. There were moments when the pieces seemed to just fall into place. Of course, I may have been enjoying myself so much that the time seemed to speed by. I had one stretch of time at the table long enough that Cindy was able to watch two DVD movies.
By the way, I was correct in my surmise yesterday that Cindy didn’t want to work on the puzzle because it took too long before there was gratification for completion. For me, the journey has always been better than the destination. But then, I’ve never driven across Death Valley.
What would the people whom I’ve mentioned in the original autobiography think about what I wrote? Cindy read it when I originally wrote it, and had no complaints. Of course, at that time she thought that there was no dysfunction in my family. She only came to realize that the family wasn’t perfect after observation and interaction over the years.
I’m pretty sure that most of the other people mentioned would have found no fault in what I wrote. I’m also pretty sure that most of them would still think that what I wrote is spot on. We aren’t born with self-awareness. Most children grow up hearing their family tell them how extraordinary they are; so problem areas tend to get glossed over.
It has only been in the last few years that I started taking a close look at myself, and it hasn’t been easy. When another person tries to shine a light on you, resultant shadows can block truths from you. You have to do your own interior search, making sure to look behind you, before self-awareness can begin. I started that process when I stopped drinking, but strayed until recently. Reviewing the autobiography is just a step I’m taking in understanding myself.