Day 180

The best picture I took today

I almost drove past this horse this morning. I’m glad I saw it in time to stop and stopped to get this picture. I was looking for an old grain silo, but I was on the wrong road, so this photo was a lucky find. Many of he pictures that I’ve posted here were not the ones I had in mind when I went out.

***

I am going to try to be serious for a bit. I’ve been thinking about the Steve Jobs quote: “No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there.” Cindy’s mom keeps telling us that she is ready to go to heaven, and that she would rather die than go back into the hospital or into a nursing home. Then, usually within 48 hours she will push the button on her Lifeline Alert and have them take her to the ER. Often when she goes into the ER she is admitted to the hospital. After some time in the hospital she complains that she wants to go home, where she says she would rather die than go back in the hospital. Her actions don’t match her words, but she is not uncommon.

When my mother fell and broke her hip she went to the hospital, of course. She is not the best patient. While she was being prepped for surgery we were waiting for the surgeon to arrive. Mother is not a patient woman, and is willing to think the worst of people. She decided that the surgeon was late getting there because he was out drinking. In fact, when he did arrive she asked him if that was where he had been. But then she decided that he was Irish, and that he was handsome, and she was charmed by him. I don’t know if he is Irish, and I didn’t find him physically appealing, but he struck me as being competent and sober. Mother has always told us that she didn’t want to be resuscitated if she was dying. When the doctor asked is she wanted to resuscitation in the OR,  she said yes. She even signed a form authorizing it.

People change their mind.

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